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Created on 2015-09-29 12:41:58 (#2448657), never updated

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Name:Caleb Meyer Leary
Birthdate:Oct 3
Location:New York, New York, United States of America
Caleb Leary was born and raised in the beautiful southern city of Savannah, GA to parents Michael and Claire, a doctor and nurse respectively. Claire and their neighbor Mary Duval had gone to nursing school together, and remained close friends after the fact. While Mary and her husband Len started their family early on in their marriage, Michael and Claire took their time, and Caleb was their only child, born close in age to the Duval's son, Zoran. The two boys grew up together, playing together after school every day. They were the best of friends, nearly inseparable, and everyone always said they were just like brothers.

It turned out, though, that it wasn't exactly true. They weren't really like brothers at all. They were the best of friends, but there were feelings there under the surface that neither of them really knew how to admit at first. Growing up in a small neighborhood in the South, despite the fact that neither of their parents were all that religious -- Caleb's family only went to his grandparents' church on Christmas and Easter -- there was still a pretty serious level of homophobia. Caleb actually still clearly remembers the day when his dad sat him down and explained to him that, if a boy at school ever came onto him, he was supposed to very clearly say no and walk away, because that was disgusting, and it wasn't acceptable. He was pretty well told that if he ever started to "participate in homosexual behaviors" he would be out on his ass permanently.

But that didn't stop him from developing feelings for his best friend. When they were twelve, Zoran's mom moved out, trying to keep the family away from his father, who'd become an alcoholic after losing his job. He was abusive to Zoran's mom, but Zoran stayed with him, hoping that, with love and support, he could kick the drinking problem and get his life back together. It would turn out to be a grave error, though they wouldn't realize until much later just how grave.

It was early into their teen years, when all the other guys were discovering boobs and the strange effect the female form could have on the teenage male body, that Caleb began to realize he wasn't interested in girls. He was interested in Zoran. His best friend was beautiful, with a huge heart and a desire to help anyone he could, and when Caleb first discovered the joys of jerking off, it was always to thoughts of Zoran. The pair had seen each other naked on more than one occasion, usually skinny dipping in the nearby lake all throughout the summer without thinking a thing of it... until all Caleb could think of was Zoran's bare skin in the hot Georgia sun, and those thoughts seemed to constantly be a part of his daily shower routine. It was all very much the typical high school crush, only it was expressly forbidden by their parents, so Caleb tried like hell to keep his thoughts to himself.

He was the only person Zoran ever told about his dad's drunk and violent episodes, and they grew even closer due to that knowledge, and perhaps it was the virtue of that closeness that allowed Zoran to make the decision to tell Caleb how he felt about him. It was once again, by the lake that they'd grown up playing in and riding bikes to together, that Zoran sheepishly confessed his feelings for Caleb, afraid that they'd be met with disdain and misunderstanding. Instead, Caleb confessed that he very much felt the same way, and the two of them stayed out by the lake for hours, late into the evening, talking about how they would grow up and leave town together and go somewhere that would accept them for who they were. They were the naive dreams of teenagers who didn't know any better, but life would soon show them just how horrible it could get. They parted ways that night to go back home, and Caleb got his courage up to give Zoran a parting kiss.

A few nights later, Zoran invited Caleb over to his house, assuring him that his dad was drunk and wouldn't know any better. With the door locked so his dad couldn't get in, Caleb and Zoran lost their virginity to each other... an experience that Caleb would never forget. It felt more right than anything he'd ever done, even if it was a little sore when he chose to bottom for Zoran. They were young, and not really prepared, but it was a moment that Caleb would treasure forever. He'd never felt more loved and more in love than that, and they fell asleep together, Zoran protectively spooning Caleb as if to keep him safe.

The next morning, Len was drunk and raging again, and beating on Zoran's bedroom door before dawn. With a kiss and a promise to see him later on, Zoran helped Caleb escape through the window, before opening the door to let his father in... That would be the first and last time that the two boys shared a bed or even more than a passing glance at one another. Caleb didn't know right away what would happen, but he feared for Zoran, who he was totally sure he was in love with... and in the aftermath of losing his virginity, he was terrified of his parents finding out. As much as it would hurt, he had to do something to protect the both of them, no matter what that might be. An email from Zoran, telling him that his father had beaten him black and blue when he suspected him of being a "fag" just made the final decision for Caleb. As much as he longed to go to Zoran and hold him and cry with him, he couldn't do it. It wouldn't be fair... and it would cost him all the more dearly.

The very next day at school, Caleb asked out Marley St. John, a girl at school who came from a good family and would definitely earn the approval of his parents. He could only hope against hope that Zoran could do the same. They didn't even speak after that. They passed each other on the street, Caleb and Marley holding hands as Zoran walked by, and it was all Caleb could do not to break down in tears for having hurt the one person he truly loved. He kept a straight face, though... didn't even speak to the other guy.

This carried on for about a year, and it never got better. Caleb and Marley became almost the "it" couple at school, while he never repaired his relationship with Zoran. He spent more nights than he wanted to admit muffling his heartbroken cries in his pillows so that his parents wouldn't hear. He ached to go back to Zoran and apologize for everything, but he couldn't. His parents needed him to be a good son, and Zoran needed to be safe from abuse. Caleb wouldn't let the guy he loved be beaten senseless again because of him. It wasn't fair. So he tried like hell to just be straight, sleeping with Marley to try and forget that sleeping with Zoran had been what truly felt right to him.

The news of Zoran's suicide came as a shock to him, but he truly blamed himself on so many levels for letting Zoran down. There was a suicide note and everything, and though Zoran's body was never found, the note left little question as to what had happened to him. The night of the memorial service, Caleb found himself on the banks of the lake, sobbing his heart out for the most amazing thing he'd ever had that he'd lost with such finality.

After graduating high school, he still moved out of the South, needing to be far away from the memories of everything that hurt, planning for Marley to go with him. It wasn't until the move was set in progress that they broke up. She wanted to stay in Savannah and get married and raise a family, and Caleb was far from ready for that... and even less so with a woman. So he made the move to New York alone, wishing like hell that he'd been able to make the move with Zoran by his side. He still struggles between his desire to be the dutiful son -- which he did by majoring in engineering and starting a great career with an engineering firm in New York -- and the fact that he is 100% gay. He lives a double life, going on dates with women to make his family happy, and having casual sex with guys he met in gay bars on the weekends, hoping that they'll never find out. Living this dual life is catching up with him, though, and no matter how many guys he's hooked up with, no one will ever be Zoran, and he's never had a single night with a guy that felt even close to how it felt when he was with the one person he'd ever loved that one night all those years ago.

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